Entry tags:

30 somethings, anakin and obi-wan, clone wars, pre-slash, prompts, shorts, star wars

Flawed Design 3/3 (Star Wars, Ani/Obi, 1000 Words)
Fandom: Star Wars
Title: "Both Eyes Closed" / Flawed Design - Part 3 of 3 (1000 Words)
Author: jarkai_fic on LJ/jarkai everywhere else
Beta: legolad
Theme(s): (For 30_somethings on Insanejournal, Nights: #04, Flicker)
Pairing/Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker
Rating: Relationship-centered, but mature for violent imagery.
Disclaimer/claimer: Characters owned by George Lucas.
Critiques: Yes.
Summary: Not all gifts are graciously accepted.

Both Eyes Closed


Jabiim. The mud, the constant rain, and the stink were enough to drive anyone mad. I would have done anything to be away from this hell, but I wouldn't have run away, not for anything or anyone. Except Obi-Wan.

Fuck the reports. The AT-AT might have exploded, but he wasn't dead. Every day I saw hundreds die and every night I ran through a dozen plans to desert my remaining comrades, if only to find my Master.

I had been stationed in this death pit for just over a month's time when General Leska was killed and my convoy was ambushed. A minefield destroyed most of the men we had left. By that time, all of the elder Jedi on the planet had been killed in action, leaving a small group of Padawans behind, myself included.

I did the best I could planning the evacuation, but when the ships finally arrived there were only enough spaces for the troops. No one ever prepares you to make a decision about who lives and who dies, but I made it. I chose the Clones.

The Jabiimi natives were understandably upset, but I...

They were trying to force their way onto the ships, nearly destroying them in the process. No one would have survived, not the Padawans, not me, not Obi-Wan. I would never have found him. I had to... I had to fight them off like I had those... creatures.

Truthfully, it was effortless. So incredibly effortless. The sickening pop was the same. Blood and innards flew everywhere. Force help me, it meant nothing to me. Somehow, it was easier this time, easier because this time Obi-Wan would never know what I needed to do to save at least some of these people.

But none of it really mattered. With Obi-Wan gone, there was no point. I wondered why I was saving anyone at all.


+++


"You must let him go, Padawan Skywalker."

I clenched my jaw, rolling my eyes toward Ki-Adi-Mundi. I was tired of listening to someone who barely knew me, much less even liked me. I remembered well enough that he had never really supported my training, and yet there he was, stepping into my Master's place.

"I can feel him there, I know he's still..." I trailed off. It was true. I had no idea what state Obi-Wan was in, but I knew that he was still alive, somewhere. Even so, I knew a glazed expression when I saw one.

"You are mistaken, youngling." The word rolled off his tongue as easily as any other, and accomplished what Ki-Adi-Mundi had hoped. I shut up instantly, but anger still rolled beneath my skin.

I jerked my blanket higher, turning away. I couldn't wait for this mission to be over. If I couldn't be trained by Obi-Wan, I did not want to be a Jedi. I planned to resign as soon as I returned to Coruscant.

The transmission came before I could. A Jedi had freed the prisoners on Rattatak. It could only be one man.

I left Ki-Adi-Mundi before he even woke.


+++


It was too late.

"Wake up, damn you! Don't you leave me now!"

Obi-Wan lolled limp in my arms. I pounded on his chest, but it was no use. His eyes remained rolled back in his head, seeing nothing. No air escaped his blood-splattered lips. His broken and battered body had simply given up. I swore in that instant that I would kill Ventress myself, but first I--first I had to--

I knew what I had to do, even if he hated me for it forever.

I closed my eyes, and the sounds of battle faded away. As always the Force was there. It always had been, even when I had slaughtered those creatures, when I had killed the Jabiimi where they stood. The Force made no distinctions. It wanted only to be of use.

Softly, so softly, I urged the Force to stroke Obi-Wan's heart, but he remained pale and still. I gripped invisible fingers tighter, hard enough that I risked crushing the muscle I wished to restart. But what was a little risk when he was already dead?

All at once, blood and spittle burst from his mouth. Obi-Wan went rigid, his body jackknifing upward, his coughing shaking us both. After a long breath, he clung to me, head pressed into my breastbone.

"Where..."

"Shhh. Just... " It was my turn to cling. I wept like a baby.


+++


"You did what?" Obi-Wan made no attempt to hide the revulsion in his voice.

I swallowed, trying to explain as best I could. "That... thing. Only this time I used it to restart your heart."

He sat heavily on the hospital bed, face whitening. A trembling hand still swathed in bandages lifted and absently massaged the place where the Force had danced within him.

I dared a step forward to touch his face. "I saved you."

"Next time..." He paused, body shaking. "Next time..."

It was my turn to blanch. I knew what he was going to say, that he preferred to be dead rather than have my power inside him. I started to pull back my hand.

His fingers closed around my wrist. He pressed my palm deeper into his beard, grown long in his captivity. We stayed that way for some time, his eyes squeezed shut, my throat working as I struggled for words.

"Master, I never asked for this--I never--"

Obi-Wan dragged me into his arms. "I'm trying, Anakin."

I stiffened against him, waiting for him to finish. Do or do not, Yoda had said many times. There is no try.

"Thank you," he whispered against my hair, arms tightening.

I gripped his hospital gown in my fist, nodding. Everything churning within me grew quiet and still. My shoulders slumped.

"Thank you," he murmured again, but I barely heard him. Obi-Wan's arms were around me, accepting.

For the first time in months, I truly slept.




[END FLAWED DESIGN]